well this is always an interesting time... the time between when you get home from a trip and when you feel home... for me, this usually occurs at the halfway point of the amount of time i was away... so if i was away for a month, it would take about 2 weeks to feel re-integrated... but of course, there are always exceptions to this rule... every once and a while you will have an experience that you may never get over, and other times re-integration will happen much quicker... in my most recent journey to quebec for 6 weeks, within 3 days i was able to feel right back at home again... that may be because while in quebec i was still recovering from my re-integration from mexico, which, forever interrupted, may prove to be one of those trips i'll never get over... part of not getting over an experience, comes from the continuation of aspects in your old life, such as people, or habits... this is the case for me... but i don't view it as a negative thing in the least... having an experience stay with you in the long-term either through the friends you made and continue to keep close or by something new you may have brought back are what make these experiences so incredible, so worthwhile... so though i'm no longer spurting out random spanish phrases or gooping salsa over absolutely everything, i still hold some of the important things and people as close to my heart as i did when i was there and i hope to continue to do so... so maybe re-integration is not necessarily the best thing... maybe instead it should be called re-adjusting...
Monday, August 15, 2005
re-integration...
well this is always an interesting time... the time between when you get home from a trip and when you feel home... for me, this usually occurs at the halfway point of the amount of time i was away... so if i was away for a month, it would take about 2 weeks to feel re-integrated... but of course, there are always exceptions to this rule... every once and a while you will have an experience that you may never get over, and other times re-integration will happen much quicker... in my most recent journey to quebec for 6 weeks, within 3 days i was able to feel right back at home again... that may be because while in quebec i was still recovering from my re-integration from mexico, which, forever interrupted, may prove to be one of those trips i'll never get over... part of not getting over an experience, comes from the continuation of aspects in your old life, such as people, or habits... this is the case for me... but i don't view it as a negative thing in the least... having an experience stay with you in the long-term either through the friends you made and continue to keep close or by something new you may have brought back are what make these experiences so incredible, so worthwhile... so though i'm no longer spurting out random spanish phrases or gooping salsa over absolutely everything, i still hold some of the important things and people as close to my heart as i did when i was there and i hope to continue to do so... so maybe re-integration is not necessarily the best thing... maybe instead it should be called re-adjusting...
Wednesday, August 10, 2005
Sunday, July 31, 2005
je me souviens
so just about nearing the end of this french adventure... funny how when you reflect on things near the end they seem to have gone by so quickly and yet reflecting at the beginning, things seem as though they might never end... bizzare..... anyways... this week markes the last week in this alternate french universe... it's funny what an impact language can have on a situation.... i mean 3pistoles is no monterrey and yet at times it felt just as foreign... and though i've only been here a fifth of the time i was in mex, to some degree it feels like the same amount of time... i've made some friends that i won't soon forget but at the same time i find myself wondering, "how is it that one can continue to live this sort of life of insecurity?"...
i've said many times in my life that i always wanted to continue travelling and that i couldn't see myself settled for a long time, if ever.... but as time wears on, my perspective has begun to change... eventhough wherever i go i manage to make incrediable friends, i've learned that there's nothing more difficult than realizing after you've made a certain connection, that you 're going to have to leave it.... and soon... try as i may it is unavoidable...
i told myself coming here that i was going to try and avoid becoming overly attached to people for that simple fear of again, having to let them go... for the most party i have achieved that but a few have managed to sneak through my radar... yes it's great to have international friends that give you the excuse and opportunity to travel, but it's also incrediably lonely realizing that though you may have a hundred more friends than the average person, you are utterly alone the majority of the time... sometimes i just feel so completely isolated... my friends, scattered as they are, seem to get the impression that i'm too busy on my exploits to have any time for them and they too begin to develope a life that seems to exclude me... in a way i alienate them into alienating me in return... this is not done (for the most part) through resentment, but rather just naturally and unconsciously... out and sight truely does become out of mind... and this is not something that necessarily can be prevented... i always thought i had created for myself a strong network of close friends that i could count on any time i was in need... and for the most part i believe i have... but there have been many times where i felt as though i had no one to talk to and as a result have found myself turning to a stranger... now this is much more exhausting as it requires more explainations, but i've found that it can also be incrediably rewarding... finding someone you barely know that you can actually trust can build the foundations to some of my strongest relationships... that fearless openning up and exposing your insecurities to the scrutiny of the harsh world can actually bring you closer to a stranger... this has become a major part of my new philosophy... i've realized that many of the walls that stand between people, come from the fear of judgement... but these walls can slowly be broken down by the simple act of honesty and trust... the results are truely shocking.... so when asked if i learned anything on this latest journey, my answer is yes.... forever learning... now, which language should i attempt next??
i've said many times in my life that i always wanted to continue travelling and that i couldn't see myself settled for a long time, if ever.... but as time wears on, my perspective has begun to change... eventhough wherever i go i manage to make incrediable friends, i've learned that there's nothing more difficult than realizing after you've made a certain connection, that you 're going to have to leave it.... and soon... try as i may it is unavoidable...
i told myself coming here that i was going to try and avoid becoming overly attached to people for that simple fear of again, having to let them go... for the most party i have achieved that but a few have managed to sneak through my radar... yes it's great to have international friends that give you the excuse and opportunity to travel, but it's also incrediably lonely realizing that though you may have a hundred more friends than the average person, you are utterly alone the majority of the time... sometimes i just feel so completely isolated... my friends, scattered as they are, seem to get the impression that i'm too busy on my exploits to have any time for them and they too begin to develope a life that seems to exclude me... in a way i alienate them into alienating me in return... this is not done (for the most part) through resentment, but rather just naturally and unconsciously... out and sight truely does become out of mind... and this is not something that necessarily can be prevented... i always thought i had created for myself a strong network of close friends that i could count on any time i was in need... and for the most part i believe i have... but there have been many times where i felt as though i had no one to talk to and as a result have found myself turning to a stranger... now this is much more exhausting as it requires more explainations, but i've found that it can also be incrediably rewarding... finding someone you barely know that you can actually trust can build the foundations to some of my strongest relationships... that fearless openning up and exposing your insecurities to the scrutiny of the harsh world can actually bring you closer to a stranger... this has become a major part of my new philosophy... i've realized that many of the walls that stand between people, come from the fear of judgement... but these walls can slowly be broken down by the simple act of honesty and trust... the results are truely shocking.... so when asked if i learned anything on this latest journey, my answer is yes.... forever learning... now, which language should i attempt next??
Monday, July 25, 2005
Wednesday, June 29, 2005
bonjour et bienvenu!
so i've finally arrived here in Trois-Pistoles and everything is great... it's been a pretty intense first few dasys that have just whizzed by... so far so good... realized my french is absolute mierda but i'm also surprised that my mind is slowly adjusting to the language... i'm usually able to understand the gyst of things but responding is another story... damn spanish still keeps popping out! all in good time i suppose...the no english rule hasn't been that bad so far so coping has been pretty easy... the laval tet is tomorrow and i shall see which path i am to take from here... hopefully the path to french 010, but i will accept whatever comes my way...
there are a lot of mexicans here which is kind of bizzare but also nice.... kind of makes me feel like i'm back in mexico again... maybe i will be able, at the very least, to improve my spanish if this french thing doesn't work out...
Tuesday, June 28, 2005
trois-pistoles at a glance...
biking as a way of life...
couche du soleil dans la fleuve saint-laurentSunday, June 26, 2005
in transit...
so here i am, yet again... about to embark on yet another one of my crazy adventures... though this time it doesn't seem quite as outlandish as mexcio... but it still has it's charm...
i'm now on my way to trois-pistoles, quebec and not really knowing what to expect... i guess the thrill is always there for me... as if i didn't learn my lesson the first time around... anyways, to the land of maple syrup i run, to a place where not many non-french speaking anglophones would dare to enter... people keep asking me why i am putting myself to this test after just returning from my spanish conquest... my response is, why not? why should i simply sit back and watch in awe as the rest of the world continues in the many other non-english languages that exist out there... why should i be so ignorant as to expect others to conform to the bully that is the english language rather than meet them half way...? this is why i am here... yes, it is true i need this credit to go towards my university degree, but it's also the challenge that sparks my interest...
now when embarking on one of these sorts of programs there are many things to put into perspective... first of all... you do not speak the language of the people who will ultimately surround you... now this is more frightenning than people realize... imagine you are in horrible pain and the people around you really want to help you but you can not express to them what you are feeling (as you know i've experienced this first hand)... or someone pays you a kind gesture and you are not able to express your thanks... it is extremely frustrating but also extremely motivational... it is situations like these that make communication not only a factor but a necessary factor...
yes this will be a challenge for me... once again creating for myself a foundation where i can feel comfortable to learn and grow... a foundation that ultimately i will have to leave... which brings me to what i believe to be the most difficult challenge of such an adventure... how do you walk away after everything you've gone through? through all of the difficult times and hard work it doesn't seem fair that you must eventually give it all up... well thankfully you never completely give it all up... whether you realize it or not, a part of this experience will stay with you and will create another dimention of you that you never thought possible... each journey is a beginning that may seem to have an end but really is just a stepping stone to the next journey...
here i go again...
i'm now on my way to trois-pistoles, quebec and not really knowing what to expect... i guess the thrill is always there for me... as if i didn't learn my lesson the first time around... anyways, to the land of maple syrup i run, to a place where not many non-french speaking anglophones would dare to enter... people keep asking me why i am putting myself to this test after just returning from my spanish conquest... my response is, why not? why should i simply sit back and watch in awe as the rest of the world continues in the many other non-english languages that exist out there... why should i be so ignorant as to expect others to conform to the bully that is the english language rather than meet them half way...? this is why i am here... yes, it is true i need this credit to go towards my university degree, but it's also the challenge that sparks my interest...
now when embarking on one of these sorts of programs there are many things to put into perspective... first of all... you do not speak the language of the people who will ultimately surround you... now this is more frightenning than people realize... imagine you are in horrible pain and the people around you really want to help you but you can not express to them what you are feeling (as you know i've experienced this first hand)... or someone pays you a kind gesture and you are not able to express your thanks... it is extremely frustrating but also extremely motivational... it is situations like these that make communication not only a factor but a necessary factor...
yes this will be a challenge for me... once again creating for myself a foundation where i can feel comfortable to learn and grow... a foundation that ultimately i will have to leave... which brings me to what i believe to be the most difficult challenge of such an adventure... how do you walk away after everything you've gone through? through all of the difficult times and hard work it doesn't seem fair that you must eventually give it all up... well thankfully you never completely give it all up... whether you realize it or not, a part of this experience will stay with you and will create another dimention of you that you never thought possible... each journey is a beginning that may seem to have an end but really is just a stepping stone to the next journey...
here i go again...
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